your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize