I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
