Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
