addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
