I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
