i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
