You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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