What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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