your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
