Can i not drive my cunt home
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
