I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
