I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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