Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
