sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
