We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
