Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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