Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
