i'm signing you up for texting rehab
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
