Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
