I just made out with a guy for $7.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
