Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
