it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
