There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
