Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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