Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
