if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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