Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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