we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
