weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
