I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
