He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
