TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
