Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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