Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
