So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
