your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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