College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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