Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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