sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize