Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize