Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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