literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
