Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
