We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
