who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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