so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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