this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
