How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
