i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
