I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
