I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
