Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
