frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
