Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
