You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
