First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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