I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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