Pappa wants mamma naked
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize