I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
