It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
