If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
